We are ALL Sister Agnes... and her gloriously EPIC side eye! 😂
You are what you tolerate... and other important birthday lessons.
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Hello, Lovelies. How the hell are you?
Yes, today’s my birthday. At 55, I’m still full of snark, curiosity, and irreverence, but I’m also bringing more patience, boundaries, and discernment than ever. I also want to wish the very merriest of birthdays to
today—my co-founder at The Institute for Women’s Futures! Sister, I hope you have the best day, and am so wicked glad you are in my life! And to all the new people on gotham girl—I’m wildly grateful to have you here. I’ve got some super fun things planned for us in 2025.Meanwhile, here’s me at age 5ish with my terrible Dolours Price haircut. Can you believe it? Even then, my Irish mum was set on it! And here’s me today. I know it’s like a total skincare sin, or whatever… but I fell asleep with all of my makeup on after my tiny birthday dinner last night. We weren’t even drinking. I was just so into Bella Mackie’s delightful romp What a Way to Go—that I passed right out. Today is my last official day of dad care duty. Tomorrow, I head East—to freedom. Huzzah!
Meanwhile, Big birthday lessons of 2024…
You are what you tolerate. You do not have to continue to show up for things (and people) that make you feel like trash. I am by nature a caretaker of others—but I actually need some myself—so I’m going to get it.
When you find your “why”… as I have with Empress Editions, holy cats! The universe responds! Our story continues to make the rounds and for this, I’m crazy grateful. I’m going to Heroine’s-Journey-the-hell out of this!
As a writer, you will always long for the feedback, “It’s great! I have NO NOTES.” This is almost always a lie. There are always notes and the last-minute, in-the-room ones are often the best. We finalized the Ellery pilot Friday and the final notes, which I’ll talk about in a second, have made the pilot the most favorite thing I’ve written in all my days. It’s so alive and full of energy.
The best notes helped us bookend the opening moment of the heroine with the line: “Imma need some volunteers…” right before she passes out onstage with her final moment in the pilot at dinner when she discloses her illness to her peeps. The other great note forced me to overwrite her monolog—so that it would give the show a clearer CTA. While it makes me uncomfortable over-explaining things to an audience, I think it was probably the right call. Perhaps the best compromise note was this; they wanted to kill some hilarious dialogue between Ellery’s daughters because it wasn’t funny enough for them, but instead, I said, no readers of the novel loved this bit—let me speed it up/split it up between the girls because again the rule of comedy is—if it’s fast, it’s funny. It will work. And it did! They loved the rewrite. But the best, last note—was the nonverbal addition by my EP—of a slight smile on the sleeping midlife heroine’s face in the final shot right as we cue the song:
The whole thing hangs together now—and I just love it so much. I hope it makes it.
Another lesson: after all these years of working on every project from tiny indie films to adaptations to punchups, people in Hollywood can still be so awful to each other. Don’t engage. Reserve judgment. People don’t know anything. Last year, I got to work on the most incredible indie project for Ben Whishaw (who seems so lovely). He’s in the new hit Netflix spy thriller Black Doves, and despite that bit of shiny work, there are still so many jerkwads out there who’ll come at me saying, “You’re just a little Miss Nobody…” but here’s the thing of it; you can let them go on with that until eventually they see your stuff and hear from other people how fast you deliver and they realize, “Hmm. She’s worth hiring.” :)
Last lesson. Always pack enough meds for jail. Especially when going to China.
Ok, enough wisdom.
And now… That’s Marvelous!
Conclave
Wow. Before we dive into the rest of the marvels of the holiday season—can we talk about Conclave for a hot second? It is a study in the exact thing I always moan and whinge about in film & fiction: for a story to work, the heart must always be in conflict with itself.
Picture this: a Da Vinci Code that went to film school, ditched the cheese, and got locked in the Vatican for a soul-stirring staycation. And somehow, against all odds, a movie about mostly white, celibate dudes voting on paper ballots ends up being the most riveting thing you’ll ever see. I know, holy cats, right? I particularly love the costumes: the cardinals may be catty, bitchy, and deceptive, but boy do they know how to work a red! And never has Isabella Rossellini, who plays Sister Agnes, given better side eye—she is masterful. It is she who makes the film.
Visually, it’s a masterpiece. Every frame is a living, breathing, perfectly composed still photo, and the wide shots? Pure cinematic ballet. Typical of Berger, the palette is a feast: lush reds, blues, and golds, with even the grays shimmering in a bleak green vibrance. But it’s more than eye candy—again, this is a story where the heart is locked in an intense, unresolved battle with itself, played out across multiple characters and multiple levels. Stanley Tucci may prefer to be at home making little arancini balls, but this conflict doesn’t wrap up so neatly; instead, it leaves you marinating in unresolved liminality and ambiguity. And it’s so freakin’ cleaver. It tolls like a bell, resonating long after the final frame fades.
All this to say Conclave isn’t a movie; it’s a gripping popespiracy that will haunt your soul for at least a day or two. (And don’t you want to be haunted by Ralph Fiennes having a deep existential crisis? He is quite handsome.) Do yourself a favor—grab a ticket, a friend, and your pocket Latin, because this one demands more than popcorn. It demands you.
Marvelous Woman Liz Thompson…
Liz Thompson was one the first women to see me writing on here, and say, “Hey… can we talk to you?” I simply cannot believe she has been diagnosed with ALS. Lauren Thompson is leading the fundraiser to help her fight this. It’s here. Please help, if you can. It’s a brutal disease.
A little melange…
This book is laugh-out-loud funny and a great gift for witty friends & family.
I long for these Mr. Collins Pride and Prejudice tea towels and Huzzah! Turns out, they ship to the U.S.
These Dries sneaks are to die for!
This boyfriend sweater is so good you’ll no longer need the boyfriend.
A serotonin soak? Umm, yes, please!
Toile silk jams, thank you, yes. After six months in the woods. Mine.
This “Make f*cking way” tee shirt directly supports Empress Editions and should be the mantra of every midlife woman you know!
And now, a fantastic new artist… Bebe Stockwell
Her voice is a treasure and this track just feels like my holiday theme song this year…
OK, that’s what I’ve got this week. Yours in lots & LOTS of cake - xoxo - gotham girl
PS - I am a human typo. Amnesty much appreciated.
I saw Conclave before the election and was thinking “I hope this isn’t going to be life imitating art—or vice versa.” Whoopsssssss.
Isabella Rosalini’s character is the best in that movie. But I went bc I have a heart hard-on for Stanley Tucci! ♥️♥️♥️ and happy belated!
Happy Birthday, Alisa! 🥳🎂Hope it’s been a sensational celebration and you ate lots of cake. I’m right behind you—turning 55 in Feb. Two 5s sound auspicious to me. Double the luck or something. Thanks for all the fun recommendations and tips in this post. Putting Conclave on my list. Speaking of Black Doves, I just noticed that it was the second new Netflix show to feature a Brita filter! The first was Man On The Inside. I guess Brita wants in on the cultural zeitgeist.