Thursday Thread: Time to roast a weenie: Andrew Huberman ๐ ๐
Huberman was recently outed for being the Tracy Flick of ultra-organized douches
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Hello, Lovelies,
Meet Andrew Huberman, the charismatic science podcaster whose brawns rival his brains, and whose knack for juggling multiple relationships across the U.S. is as impressive as his biohacking knowledge. Ah, the Tech Bro quest to perfect! Recently featured in New York Magazineโs Intelligencer, Huberman's intricate web of romantic entanglements has left even the most organized individuals in awe.
According to the report, Huberman's ability to seamlessly manage numerous affairs simultaneously is a feat of logistical genius. Five women, all believing they were in exclusive relationships with him, unraveled the complexity of his romantic endeavors, one with whom he even attempted to father a child. Through shared messages and synchronized timelines, they uncovered a meticulous schedule that would make a team of synchronized swimmers envious. Beloveds, itโs a Lifetime movie that practically writes itself!
Picture this: Huberman effortlessly transitioning from one lover to the next, sending identical selfies to different paramours at the exact same moment, and orchestrating rendezvous with military precision. One scene even captures him entertaining one woman just as another departs, swiftly followed by a text to yet another companion. The efficiency and audacity of it all are truly mind-boggling.
"The scheduling alone!" exclaimed one of the women to Intelligencer. "I can barely schedule three Zoom calls in a day, let alone maintain multiple relationships across states!"
While a spokesperson for Huberman has denied some of the claims made in the report, they did not refute the core revelation that he indeed managed multiple concurrent relationships.
So, dear readers, here's your chance to roast the master multitasker himself, Andrew Huberman. Share your thoughts on his balancing act of love and science, and let the roasting begin!
If I were his sponsor, Athletic Greens-1, I might force him to run a completely self-mocking meta campaign around stamina and the efficacy of their yucky smoothies. As a woman, I think the entire planet of ladypeople should Lysistrata Hubermanโs ass until he just goes away foreverโฆ And I never want to hear him spouting off on Oprah or TED about relationships or monogamy EVER again. Heโs a patriarchal perma-douche. (Barf) And no amount of neuroplasticity is going to fix this bro-bag.
OK, now you go!
๐ค๐ค๐ค - xoxo - gotham girl
Wow. That's just... wow. Maybe he can give that Sister Wives dude some pointers. So glad I'm no longer wading in the Dating Pool and have to deal with shit-sticks like this dude.
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