How to smile. 😂

Write the smuttiest sex book you can, but package it like an elegant romance.

Thanks for reading gotham girl! This is a free post, so feel free to share it on social media, just be sure to include a link. Sincerest thanks to every single paid subscriber. You’re keeping the lights on around here, and I can’t thank you enough for it.

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Hello, Lovelies. How the hell are you?

So, I know the world is falling apart with a capital F, and my idea to save it with books and quality television may be somewhat of a flawed notion, but here at Empress Editions the good book fairies have smiled upon us with a host of incredible gifts!

The first is the new final cover reveal for Quickies—Isn’t it genius? The Brand Fairies of the Universe are really doing right by us because the backstory on our other cover was that, while I loved it… I was WAY worried. Why? We are a strong, but girly, feminist press…

But the whip on the cover looked like a BIG, BLACK SPERM!

It also looked like a tampon. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

We needed something different. Something that conveyed swift, girly, and sexy with just a hint o’ vag going on!

When I first laid eyes on the new cover—so gorgeously crafted by a friend of the press Dave McLaughlin—I smiled and shrieked so loud—I quite literally terrified every last nerd at MIT. Just for context, this is a place of very loud-thinking-quiet people, so they’re still getting used to my ebullience. The new cover was everything a newbie midlife publisher could hope for and so here we are…

Quickies is about to be available on Amazon, B&N, and Apple for preorder, but if you order your copy directly from our site, you can get it for 20% Off (just use the code: JGYNEUS) and with Free Shipping (use the code: GDIE5DE) and you can get it with ALL THE THINGS! Like the secret, steamy marginalia! And the Mocktail Cookbook!

Other things you can’t help grinning about…

When your bestie flies to town and insists on a Grace Kelly makeover at Luxor!

Or when you go to Hourly Oyster House in Harvard Square and lament to your totally adorable student waitress that you simply CANNOT bear the idea of ketchup with your fries because of the new doofus regime and she looks at you, her heart full of compassion, and says,

“Oh, it’s completely okay! We’re so totally an aioli-forward restaurant. We have six kinds! Red pepper, siracha, rosemary-garlic…”

And for a brief moment, you feel back in your world. You cackle and profess your love for her right there. You wonder if you can just adopt this very earnest GenZ person, if only to come hang out with the rest of your family and bring her aioli-forward vibe with! Everyone will surely get along better.

But there is MORE to smile about… Because I want to wish the happiest 50th to our other dear author, Kimberly Warner, whose debut book, Unfixed: A Memoir of Family, Mystery, and the Currents That Carry You Home, with the final cover is officially available for preorder today!

To celebrate, we’re offering a 20% discount + free shipping (US) for everyone who preorders the hardcover before March 3rd. You’ll need to use two codes: NI9HWWU for free shipping and then 6JQY6FL for 20% off at our checkout.

Isn’t it gorgeous!???

✨ Bonus for early birds: You’ll also receive an autographed bookplate (warning: Kim’s signature is a little… let’s call it expressive!).

For her international friends, the ebook is available now on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Apple with other retailers, including hardcovers and paperback coming soon—we’ll keep you posted.

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ICYM… Lumon on LinkedIn? We might need this for the White House.

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Last sweet, funny thing… I grew up in a music household, so this completely charms…

OK, that’s what I got! Yours in zippers - xoxo - gotham girl

PS - I am a human typo. Amnesty appreciated.

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