Why do they ALWAYS look like they are about to eat Coraline? 😂
How New York City made me...
These rotters… Would you let them attend your funeral? Why did Virgil Abloh? And why do they ALWAYS look like they are about to eat Coraline?
So sad that Abloh, the groundbreaking Design Director of Vuitton, died so young. Also sad that he was friends with such evil twats. Now I’m going to have to burn a perfectly good purse.
Hello, Lovelies, How the hell are you? It’s been a while.
First, some business (adjusts shoulder pads). This newsletter is now being brought to you courtesy of Substack, so please adjust your spam settings and bear with me while I get the hang of things.
Greetings from California where virtually nothing has gone according to plan. When I first landed back here for the show, I whispered a fierce prayer, “Make it quick, Satan.” It’s been anything but. Our series, That’s Ellery, is still in development. We keep losing our lead actress and each time it’s five months of bowing and curtsying to agents and managers until we finally get to a… “She’s reading it this weekend,” and we all walk around on tenterhooks wondering if she’s sipping some wackadoo green-juice-Niacin concoction and tittering to our pithy dialogue, only to hear back, “She thought the pilot was hysterical, but she just played a mum-in-crisis two movies ago, so it’s probably too soon to do it again, but thanks for thinking of her!” And the ritual beginneth again.
Meanwhile, I pine away in the blistering heat for the glories of puffy jacket season, wet autumn leaves slick on the pavement, and the city glittering, all lit up for the holidays—and I survive, but only just!
I was sitting at my desk writing a few weeks back when suddenly my girlfriend shouts from the living room, “Quick, there’s an intruder in the house! Run!”
“What? You’re kidding,” I carp back, perplexed. I’m thinking: Who breaks into a writer’s house? We’re one step up from paupers. All we have are books and the odd computer. Are they going to hold us hostage for our Final Draft key codes?
“No, the police said get out of the house!” Her voice quavers now—operatic with fear.
Police? Shit. I take my laptop and run. In the backyard, I completely panic trying to find anywhere to hide out by our pool. I crouch down, first hiding behind a skinny potted palm. Next, a flimsy deck chair. I am toast if this guy has a gun.
Our house is surrounded by high stone walls. If I try to scale the wall to Larry’s for help, I’ll probably just set off his alarms, and with my luck, the police will go there and shoot me instead of our bad guy. Plus, I‘ll have to ditch my laptop and I really don’t want to do that as I’ve just come up with the best dedication for my next book:
I know, what a moment, eh?
So, in New York when you call the cops, either nobody comes, or if they do come, the guy gets a royal beatdown—the kind you see in those terrible subway videos. In LA, when you call the cops, the whole SWAT team comes and things have the ability to escalate insanely. And where only moments before you were hiding behind your rickety chaise longue, now you’re yelling at burly dudes in flack jackets, “Just don’t shoot him!!!” to protect the poor perp and the cops are yelling…
“Ma’am, we know you’re not from here, but don’t tell the SWAT team what to do!”
“But…”
“Ma’am, you don’t know if he wants to kill you!”
“And you don’t know if he wants a nap!”
And suddenly you think, where did I get this from? This mouthiness? And I realize, I got it from New York.
I love New York’s hardiness. The fiesty energy of it. Even the decision to meet a friend for a walk in a snowstorm—that comes from that kind of New York-born hardiness. New Yorkers are like, “We're not going to let the weather stop us. Fuck it.”
And it’s this toughness that I adore, but it’s also the vulnerability that emerges. The tacit intimacy. Because we all have this interdependency with one another—through the toughness. We believe, “I have to be tough because New York is such a tough place.” But at the same time, we have to be kind to one another, or we’re not going to make it. We live in such close proximity to one another—literally on top of each other. You have to rely on other people. I also believe this city is the world capital of neurodiversity. Here, you can really lean into how you are wired—without masking it. And sometimes you choose toughness, and other times you opt for, “I’m sorry.” Even if it’s simply to keep the peace. And other times it’s…
It turns out our bad guy did just want a nap. But it makes you pause. You want to think your life matters in some small way… not just in the artistic work you leave behind but in the way you show up for people. Covid’s thrown a wrench in all that. It doesn’t help that I been up my own ass finishing a novel and writing a snarky TV series. I love that this is the time of year when families do turn up with all their wonderfully detailed annual holiday letters—rife with posed pickies and family factoids. I wish I had it in me to do that…
I love reading about their children's victories in sports that I did not previously know existed (Pickleball? Congrats Kaylee! Proud of you!). I like how grownups kind of just skim through work stuff (“Bud is still plugging away at the family business"—I have no idea what that means but I suspect Bud is in the mafia. “Arianna still hasn't sold her $30 million house, but maybe this year!"—rooting for you, babe! Have you tried pickleballing it?)
All said and done, gotham girl needs to show up more often. Hence Substack. And I also intend to do it this week by making my family a pot of Dan Pelosi’s famous Grossy Pelosi Vodka Sawce. Recipe here. It’s fab!
Also, for the greatest presents ever, check out The Strategist Gift Guide.
I love that it’s so specific for every possible situation imaginable—from remote coworkers who like to imbibe (a St. Agrestis Negroni Fountain—I’d NEVER think of that) to your 80-year-old parents who are retired spies (Tekla hooded robes). They don’t miss a beat.
For watching, I offer you this bit of zen, based on the Murakami story—playing now at Lincoln Center and soon on VOD.
It’s breathtaking. Each shot is a perfectly composed still photo. You won’t be saying make it quick… to anyone.
Well, that’s what I’ve got for now. Stay rad and safe, lovelies, xoxo - gotham girl
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