Why do they ALWAYS look like they are about to eat Coraline? π
How New York City made me...
These rotters⦠Would you let them attend your funeral? Why did Virgil Abloh? And why do they ALWAYS look like they are about to eat Coraline?
So sad that Abloh, the groundbreaking Design Director of Vuitton, died so young. Also sad that he was friends with such evil twats. Now Iβm going to have to burn a perfectly good purse.
Hello, Lovelies, How the hell are you? Itβs been a while.
First, some business (adjusts shoulder pads). This newsletter is now being brought to you courtesy of Substack, so please adjust your spam settings and bear with me while I get the hang of things.
Greetings from California where virtually nothing has gone according to plan. When I first landed back here for the show, I whispered a fierce prayer, βMake it quick, Satan.β Itβs been anything but. Our series, Thatβs Ellery, is still in development. We keep losing our lead actress and each time itβs five months of bowing and curtsying to agents and managers until we finally get to aβ¦ βSheβs reading it this weekend,β and we all walk around on tenterhooks wondering if sheβs sipping some wackadoo green-juice-Niacin concoction and tittering to our pithy dialogue, only to hear back, βShe thought the pilot was hysterical, but she just played a mum-in-crisis two movies ago, so itβs probably too soon to do it again, but thanks for thinking of her!β And the ritual beginneth again.
Meanwhile, I pine away in the blistering heat for the glories of puffy jacket season, wet autumn leaves slick on the pavement, and the city glittering, all lit up for the holidaysβand I survive, but only just!
I was sitting at my desk writing a few weeks back when suddenly my girlfriend shouts from the living room, βQuick, thereβs an intruder in the house! Run!β
βWhat? Youβre kidding,β I carp back, perplexed. Iβm thinking: Who breaks into a writerβs house? Weβre one step up from paupers. All we have are books and the odd computer. Are they going to hold us hostage for our Final Draft key codes?
βNo, the police said get out of the house!β Her voice quavers nowβoperatic with fear.
Police? Shit. I take my laptop and run. In the backyard, I completely panic trying to find anywhere to hide out by our pool. I crouch down, first hiding behind a skinny potted palm. Next, a flimsy deck chair. I am toast if this guy has a gun.
Our house is surrounded by high stone walls. If I try to scale the wall to Larryβs for help, Iβll probably just set off his alarms, and with my luck, the police will go there and shoot me instead of our bad guy. Plus, Iβll have to ditch my laptop and I really donβt want to do that as Iβve just come up with the best dedication for my next book:
I know, what a moment, eh?
So, in New York when you call the cops, either nobody comes, or if they do come, the guy gets a royal beatdownβthe kind you see in those terrible subway videos. In LA, when you call the cops, the whole SWAT team comes and things have the ability to escalate insanely. And where only moments before you were hiding behind your rickety chaise longue, now youβre yelling at burly dudes in flack jackets, βJust donβt shoot him!!!β to protect the poor perp and the cops are yellingβ¦
βMaβam, we know youβre not from here, but donβt tell the SWAT team what to do!β
βButβ¦β
βMaβam, you donβt know if he wants to kill you!β
βAnd you donβt know if he wants a nap!β
And suddenly you think, where did I get this from? This mouthiness? And I realize, I got it from New York.
I love New Yorkβs hardiness. The fiesty energy of it. Even the decision to meet a friend for a walk in a snowstormβthat comes from that kind of New York-born hardiness. New Yorkers are like, βWe're not going to let the weather stop us. Fuck it.β
And itβs this toughness that I adore, but itβs also the vulnerability that emerges. The tacit intimacy. Because we all have this interdependency with one anotherβthrough the toughness. We believe, βI have to be tough because New York is such a tough place.β But at the same time, we have to be kind to one another, or weβre not going to make it. We live in such close proximity to one anotherβliterally on top of each other. You have to rely on other people. I also believe this city is the world capital of neurodiversity. Here, you can really lean into how you are wiredβwithout masking it. And sometimes you choose toughness, and other times you opt for, βIβm sorry.β Even if itβs simply to keep the peace. And other times itβsβ¦
It turns out our bad guy did just want a nap. But it makes you pause. You want to think your life matters in some small wayβ¦ not just in the artistic work you leave behind but in the way you show up for people. Covidβs thrown a wrench in all that. It doesnβt help that I been up my own ass finishing a novel and writing a snarky TV series. I love that this is the time of year when families do turn up with all their wonderfully detailed annual holiday lettersβrife with posed pickies and family factoids. I wish I had it in me to do thatβ¦
I love reading about their children's victories in sports that I did not previously know existed (Pickleball? Congrats Kaylee! Proud of you!). I like how grownups kind of just skim through work stuff (βBud is still plugging away at the family business"βI have no idea what that means but I suspect Bud is in the mafia. βArianna still hasn't sold her $30 million house, but maybe this year!"βrooting for you, babe! Have you tried pickleballing it?)
All said and done, gotham girl needs to show up more often. Hence Substack. And I also intend to do it this week by making my family a pot of Dan Pelosiβs famous Grossy Pelosi Vodka Sawce. Recipe here. Itβs fab!
Also, for the greatest presents ever, check out The Strategist Gift Guide.
I love that itβs so specific for every possible situation imaginableβfrom remote coworkers who like to imbibe (a St. Agrestis Negroni FountainβIβd NEVER think of that) to your 80-year-old parents who are retired spies (Tekla hooded robes). They donβt miss a beat.
For watching, I offer you this bit of zen, based on the Murakami storyβplaying now at Lincoln Center and soon on VOD.
Itβs breathtaking. Each shot is a perfectly composed still photo. You wonβt be saying make it quickβ¦ to anyone.
Well, thatβs what Iβve got for now. Stay rad and safe, lovelies, xoxo - gotham girl
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