The New Pornographers! 😂
Plus, a most wonderful celebration of Substack writers! It was a 'Wonder' of Writers!
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Hello, Lovelies. How the hell are you?
What a week!
First, sincerest thanks for the most incredible evenings celebrating the extraordinary work of
and hosted by the inimitable and his wife, Debbie—and to everyone who was there: , , , , , , , , , , , , and so many gifted writers from the Substack community! My little neurodivergent brain quite simply shorted out amid all the sheer electricity of talent in the room. At one point, all I could do was look around in stunned silence and be amazed that we had somehow found each other. I was so grateful for these people. For all of their ideas.
And the books, the books! Both exquisite for very different reasons. Ordering details are coming as soon as I get some food in me. There’s a strategy afoot for Sarah’s. Eleanor is a master worldbuilder so you’ll want to dive into hers straightaway…
But then, look at these marvelous placecards that Jason magicked up from our profile pics! So much crazy talent!
So, apologies for the tardy dispatch! Where to begin? There’s too much to explain, but I will do my best.
On Monday, Empress Editions’ inaugural title, Quickies, was beautifully typeset and ready to send out print and eGalleys. We are a drop-in title for many booksellers this year—so we have been doing our level-best to stack preorders for the first week after launch—knowing it may take a minute to build a groundswell.
By Tuesday, we were confused. We still weren’t live on Amazon or Apple—places you ordinarily want to be for running smooth preorder campaigns for midlife women’s book groups.
By Wednesday, we had the news. We were found to be in violation of our distributor’s content policy for attempting to distribute… porn. Can you believe it? A book about midlife women’s sexuality is too salty for adult American readers?
We found the whole scenario astounding since our distributors are the very same who distribute Fifty Shades, ACOTAR, and Rebecca Yarros—all of which include far more gratuitous scenes of nookie than our snarky book of midlife women’s sexual health.
We immediately filed an appeal, explaining that our author is an OB/GYN and it’s literally her job to talk about women’s va-jay-jay’s all day long and then got on the phone to another distributor (with the help of
a Stack we love) who said they’d be glad to work with us, but HOLY CATS, people. It makes no sense.We also landed our first major investor in the press, and we’re so excited because what this enables us to do is pretty much bypass the old-school broken publishing machinery to work with a great woman-owned printer to get our books out in an agile, sustainable way with gorgeous production values—on par with Persephone Books in the UK.
By Thursday, Heather had made a video to rally all of midlife America…
Preorder here →
You’d think we’d be demoralized, but if you look at literary history, per Heather—
All our faves were banned:
“1. Toni Morrison – Beloved, The Bluest Eye, Song of Solomon 🚫 Why Banned? Too much truth. Morrison’s books explore racism, sexual violence, and America’s darkest histories—so, of course, school boards across the U.S. freaked out.
2. Alice Walker – The Color Purple 🚫 Why Banned? Because it dares to talk about Black women’s trauma, sexuality, and survival. They called it "obscene"—but it’s really just honest.
3. Margaret Atwood – The Handmaid’s Tale 🚫 Why Banned? Dystopian fiction hits too close to home when it’s basically real life. Atwood’s tale of patriarchal control has been banned worldwide for "profanity" and "sexual content"—aka truth bombs.
4. Judy Blume – Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret; Forever; Deenie 🚫 Why Banned? Because Queen Judy dared to write about girls getting their periods, masturbation, and young love—aka completely normal human experiences. Wait until you read H’s upcoming sequel to this…
5. Anne Frank – The Diary of a Young Girl 🚫 Why Banned? Yes, Anne Frank. Her diary has been banned in schools for being "too depressing" or "sexually explicit" because she wrote about discovering her body—as if surviving the Holocaust wasn’t reason enough to read her words.
6. Maya Angelou – I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings 🚫 Why Banned? Because she dared to tell the story of her sexual assault, racism, and resilience as a Black woman. Her work remains one of the most banned books in America.
7. bell hooks – Ain’t I a Woman?; Feminism is for Everybody 🚫 Why Banned? Because feminism makes people uncomfortable. hooks’ work on race, gender, and power has been censored for "divisive content"—which is code for "truth that challenges the system."
8. Kate Chopin – The Awakening 🚫 Why Banned? A woman leaving her husband? Owning her sexuality? In 1899? This book was called "immoral" and banned for decades for being too feminist.
9. Radclyffe Hall – The Well of Loneliness 🚫 Why Banned? Published in 1928, this was one of the first mainstream lesbian novels—and of course, it was immediately banned for "corrupting morals."
10. Sylvia Plath – The Bell Jar 🚫 Why Banned? Too much mental illness, feminism, and raw honesty for the delicate sensibilities of certain school boards.
11. Virginia Woolf – Orlando, A Room of One’s Own 🚫 Why Banned? Orlando is a gender-fluid time-traveling novel. A Room of One’s Own argues that women need financial independence to be writers. Both were controversial AF.
12. Jeanette Winterson – Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit 🚫 Why Banned? Because queer women telling their own stories is apparently too much for some people.
13. Louisa May Alcott – Little Women 🚫 Why Banned? Because Jo March didn’t want to get married. Can you believe?
14. Malala Yousafzai – I Am Malala 🚫 Why Banned? Because Malala, who was shot in the head by the Taliban for going to school, wrote a book about fighting for girls’ education. Some schools still won’t allow it.”
I’d say we are in more than decent company.
So, by Thursday night, we were on our way in the cab to celebrate Eleanor and Sarah at David and Debbie’s in NYC! And oh, were we READY!
Then, Friday, after a bit of de-puffing, we were on a call with our new distributor, figuring out optimal timing, and hope to have more news next week—but oy!
By Saturday, on International Women’s Day no less, we were again notified that our original appeal was still being reviewed, we were still ineligible for distribution, and NOT to file any further appeals. Nothing like a good kick in the teeth, eh?
Now, things my frayed nervous system very much needs:
A fistful of gummies… j/k.
A superyacht full of sushi… n/k.
And this song by Nilufer Yanya on a freakin’ loop! 😂
OK, that’s what I’ve got this week! I hope all of you are faring much better in these odd times. I can’t wait to catch up on all your posts.
Yours in lost sleep - xoxo - gotham girl
PS - I am a human typo. Amnesty appreciated.
I'd say you are in great company, both on the evening out and the ban of the book! It will all work out in the end, goodness always does. But sometimes we just have to be very patient. Let your readers know if and how we can help!
That is so crazy!!!! What utter moronitis! But congratulations on getting the funding! How exciting 🤗❤️❤️