Thursday Thread: The most magnificent subscriber appeal you've seen? š
Every now and then, you see a stunner!
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Hello, Lovelies, How the hell are you?
Every now and then I come across a subscriber appeal thatās just so artful and funny. This one, Iām parroting, from Scaachi reads like a glorious Mitford scandal:
If you donāt subscribe, Iāll go out with your sister and make her fall in love with me and then Iāll get a job overseas and take her with me and then whenever she visits sheāll be weird and pretentious and rude, and then one Christmas weāll come back to visit and sheāll call your table settingĀ jejuneĀ and in retaliation, you will unleash decades of pent up frustration with your dynamic, how sheās so quick to look at you sideways, how sheās always coveted what you had, and how easy it was for her to abandon you for me and my money, and your tirade will be so indefensible and uncontrolled that the entire family will come to our defense, to our side, toĀ myĀ side, and you will be more alone than youāve ever thought possible in your entire life. All because you didnāt subscribe.ā
Itās wonderfully operatic and pettyāand it makes you want to so play in her sandbox. I can almost hear Parker Posey rattling it off mid-martini. But Iām not sure that threatening readers into subscribing ever truly works. That said, I do love the tag, āAll because you didnāt subscribe.ā Such treacherous consequences from banal inaction are always funny.
But what about you? What would your wildest, most outlandish subscriber appeal ever be?
Donāt be shyā¦ Yours again in words & wit - xoxo - gotham girl
PS - I am a human typo. Amnesty appreciated.
I donāt think I would have finished reading that appeal had you not posted it. Haha.
Come ova for a giggle and party in the comments.
Thatās all I got.
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