The shitty draft is not so shitty. Your writing is amazing. I, too, like Milo Ventimiglia (but I like how you said it better LOL) and am trying to picture him as swarthy. To me, that word makes me picture someone who's older with some wrinkles? LOL
So much truth and beauty in this, LOVE! I was just writing about "Freedom 90" for an upcoming Womancake essay, can't wait for you to read it. Oh, the detail about the sonorous voice? I'm a sucker for those! I think Philip Seymour Hoffman always had an undeniable sexual presence, even when he was plying the most pathetic losers, because his fucking VOICE was so powerful.
So many great phrases but in my humble opinion there is a lot of excess phraseology that could be cut because my darling, the story is really compelling and you could be more Joan Didion in some of the structure/sentences.. I was taken in and then distracted by so much explanation as I got the gist and wantd more truth and less trippiness..... You have a really good story and reality here, I say don't loose the "we" in excess. Not sure you wanted criticism so my bad.
Noooooooo, I cannot wait for the real thing! And I’m sorry that the real thing has inspired the “real thing” but it sounds like you have an important story to tell.
Amazing “shitty” first draft. Not shitty at all. I wish this wasn’t based on your personal experience but it’s a story that needs to be told. Looking forward to getting to know the characters.
Ahhhh!!! This is so good Alisa. And reading this on the heals of just finishing GG two nights ago felt like eating birthday cake twice in one week. I wasn’t done with your characters (ahem, you) when the book ended and now they’re back in full color. I’m mad at those Hollywood doofuses for having anything but shining big green lights on this script. It’s Fleabag meets Unfixed and the world is ready for it!
If I didn’t know how much this cost you personally I’d love this not so shitty first draft even more than I do. It’s funny to read and bittersweet too. I can hardly wait for the next instalment. You are funny AF! And a goddamn delight. 😘❤️
Someone I admire pointed me to a book I just finished. It concludes with an exploration of who we are when we lose ourselves to serious illness and how might illness affect our narratives.
I can't imagine what it's been like for you to deal with your epilepsy but I do have some sense of what it feels like to lose your very reliable self to the often unpredictable vagaries of a serious medical issue.
Some of the lessons you repeatedly share (consciously or not) are the power of both grace and humor. Thank you!🙏🏻
The shitty draft is not so shitty. Your writing is amazing. I, too, like Milo Ventimiglia (but I like how you said it better LOL) and am trying to picture him as swarthy. To me, that word makes me picture someone who's older with some wrinkles? LOL
So much truth and beauty in this, LOVE! I was just writing about "Freedom 90" for an upcoming Womancake essay, can't wait for you to read it. Oh, the detail about the sonorous voice? I'm a sucker for those! I think Philip Seymour Hoffman always had an undeniable sexual presence, even when he was plying the most pathetic losers, because his fucking VOICE was so powerful.
So many great phrases but in my humble opinion there is a lot of excess phraseology that could be cut because my darling, the story is really compelling and you could be more Joan Didion in some of the structure/sentences.. I was taken in and then distracted by so much explanation as I got the gist and wantd more truth and less trippiness..... You have a really good story and reality here, I say don't loose the "we" in excess. Not sure you wanted criticism so my bad.
Noooooooo, I cannot wait for the real thing! And I’m sorry that the real thing has inspired the “real thing” but it sounds like you have an important story to tell.
Amazing “shitty” first draft. Not shitty at all. I wish this wasn’t based on your personal experience but it’s a story that needs to be told. Looking forward to getting to know the characters.
Ahhhh!!! This is so good Alisa. And reading this on the heals of just finishing GG two nights ago felt like eating birthday cake twice in one week. I wasn’t done with your characters (ahem, you) when the book ended and now they’re back in full color. I’m mad at those Hollywood doofuses for having anything but shining big green lights on this script. It’s Fleabag meets Unfixed and the world is ready for it!
If I didn’t know how much this cost you personally I’d love this not so shitty first draft even more than I do. It’s funny to read and bittersweet too. I can hardly wait for the next instalment. You are funny AF! And a goddamn delight. 😘❤️
Ha! Your sh*tty first draft looks a lot better than mine. Looking forward to the rest of it!
Someone I admire pointed me to a book I just finished. It concludes with an exploration of who we are when we lose ourselves to serious illness and how might illness affect our narratives.
I can't imagine what it's been like for you to deal with your epilepsy but I do have some sense of what it feels like to lose your very reliable self to the often unpredictable vagaries of a serious medical issue.
Some of the lessons you repeatedly share (consciously or not) are the power of both grace and humor. Thank you!🙏🏻