Much like your photo, I once accidentally set an entire wedding banquet table on fire, when I tripped over a candlestick and all the table decor was TRES FLAMMABLE.
It was put out by cooler heads. After a chaotic half hour, the wedding party continued, but when the divorce happened a couple years later, I was implicated as the bad fairy who had cursed it all! What can I say?
Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry for the momentary danger you might have been in (or anyone else), but that is a WONDERFUL story of chaos and matrimonial mayhem... and with your name being 'Bright' all the more poignant. I love it! 😂
I’m more curious of who survived the great Christmas tree fire of 93? There’s no way that they all made it out. That tree must’ve been in full blaze within a minute, and those geriatrics don’t seem to move as fast as they did when they were rowing for Cornell. I need to know. Haha
Indeed! I shall need to do some research on this one--stay tuned. Even with age being reaction factor (which I know well, lol) I always look at this photo and wonder about the overall flammability of the Thatcherite hair. It just seems like there's an awful lot of Aquanet holding things together and that stuff's deadly!
My mother got knocked up with me (accidentally on purpose), so I became the catastrophe that she then resented for the remainder of our relationship. She may still, but I peaced-out on that 25 years ago, so... But the catastrophe I created, with a grand assist from Malignant Optimism, is being stubborn, staying freelance for too long, putting everything in jeopardy because I was *determined* to get a screenplay produced. Got close a couple of times, but went deep into debt that I finally got myself out of a couple of years ago. Sometimes, we have to walk away from our own storm. xo
My parents were huge enactors of catastrophe, so I had to unlearn a lot from them. Everythign in my 20s felt like a catastrophe, but I can see now that I was veiwing it all through my (untreated) chronic anxiety lens. Some of the men I dated were genuine catastrophes! Didn't stay long with any of them, though.... I have strong survival instincts from my childhood.
I see those survival skills in you... and so many women from our generation. Chronic anxiety and hyper-vigilance were the key drivers of my 20s and 30s, but often they only engendered more stress for our family later... The whole experience makes me want to step back and survey how to make haven(s) for women (my fam included) to NOT have to keep cycling through that experience...
I'm going to split the difference between regret and self-acceptance with awe.
Wow, look how that decision impacted the next 50 years!
Would 61 yo me tell 16 yo me to not try and tackle the biggest kid on the opposing team when he weighed 220 pounds and was coming full speed at 160 pound flat-footed me. Sixteen yo me would have never listened and how was I to know it would shear off every facet in my lower spine (something we didn't discover until I was 50) and lead to a massive number of spinal problems when the whole thing collapsed.
And, who knew that rushing to make beignet biscuits would result in a massive column of flame and a few third degree burns?
But now, I'm older and wiser and have some great stories and hopefully a bit more perspective and I clearly survived hanging out with younger me.
No regrets. Not everything was a disaster (or a success) and who knows, someday I might actually publish a book or get a posthumous Nobel prize.
The first thing that comes to mind is that I once bought a house that I loved but couldn’t stand living in after two months. It was an expensive mistake both financially and emotionally.
Dating the psychiatrist --not mine, of course. Read about it in this catastrophe chapter where I bombed and nearly worse: https://marytabor.substack.com/p/cinderella-chapter-17 and it gets even worse after that! Read the following chapter too. Try not to be horrified. Blame me!
is that buckingham browne and nichols?%$!?...would have been a long commute from bennington if we are talking about where shirley jackson lived in vt. 🤣
I-93 south from Manchester, N.H. (talk about "catastrophe 😉)
joe needs to voluntarily withdraw but as a man i know how hard that is
YES that's the school... we would have stayed in Cambridge for that. And we once lived in Shirley Jackson's old house... so know all about VT catastrophes :) I feel like we need to collectively choreograph the most dignified exit... one worthy of William Powell or Cary Grant.
EEk. So many, that it's hurting my brain trying to conjure them from the far, dark recesses of my brain. But, I do want to talk about last night! EGADS!!!!! What the actual fuck are you guys going to do down there? I started watching and then had to turn it off and only check in every now and again to see the 'live updates' in writing at the NYT. Even that was painful as I was patiently praying for a miracle. I've been ferociously reading the various opinion pieces of long time democrats and supporters of Biden's saying he must resign for the sake of the country yada yada. Do you think he will? I'm so worried about the upcoming catastrophe that is your next President. That's about the only one I can think of this morning! (Plus, it's way better than thinking of the ones I created.)😜
Yes, we have a saying in our family... No agonizing... Only organizing. It feels like someone needs to 'Cary Grant' an exit that lets him maintain the dignity of his elder statesmanship and saunter offstage while someone akin to Gretchen Whitmer (who can rally the Michigan and factory votes) makes a solid, sane, and relevant entry... all while being backed by the legacy cabinet that Biden has built. To give Biden an emeritus role that leverages all the political and international capital he has accumulated over the years would also seem a more valuable move in saving the democracy right now.
love the visual it reminds me of Rosemary's Baby and all the chanting from the upstairs coven. I'm still reeling from the debate so have no personal catastrophe thoughts except like you uprooting divorces. Oh I'd be so much richer if I had stayed either course. But would not have started my own art dealing career which was more empowering than wifedom. And if I were Biden I would fire my advisors who thought that debate was a good pre-emptive idea.
Indeed, still reeling and yes, they should be in advisor jail, but there's a way forward. There *has* to be... as we say in our family, no agonizing... only organizing :)
Much like your photo, I once accidentally set an entire wedding banquet table on fire, when I tripped over a candlestick and all the table decor was TRES FLAMMABLE.
It was put out by cooler heads. After a chaotic half hour, the wedding party continued, but when the divorce happened a couple years later, I was implicated as the bad fairy who had cursed it all! What can I say?
Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry for the momentary danger you might have been in (or anyone else), but that is a WONDERFUL story of chaos and matrimonial mayhem... and with your name being 'Bright' all the more poignant. I love it! 😂
I’m more curious of who survived the great Christmas tree fire of 93? There’s no way that they all made it out. That tree must’ve been in full blaze within a minute, and those geriatrics don’t seem to move as fast as they did when they were rowing for Cornell. I need to know. Haha
Indeed! I shall need to do some research on this one--stay tuned. Even with age being reaction factor (which I know well, lol) I always look at this photo and wonder about the overall flammability of the Thatcherite hair. It just seems like there's an awful lot of Aquanet holding things together and that stuff's deadly!
My mother got knocked up with me (accidentally on purpose), so I became the catastrophe that she then resented for the remainder of our relationship. She may still, but I peaced-out on that 25 years ago, so... But the catastrophe I created, with a grand assist from Malignant Optimism, is being stubborn, staying freelance for too long, putting everything in jeopardy because I was *determined* to get a screenplay produced. Got close a couple of times, but went deep into debt that I finally got myself out of a couple of years ago. Sometimes, we have to walk away from our own storm. xo
So much wisdom here. Catastrophes and miracles tread such a fine line :) xo
My parents were huge enactors of catastrophe, so I had to unlearn a lot from them. Everythign in my 20s felt like a catastrophe, but I can see now that I was veiwing it all through my (untreated) chronic anxiety lens. Some of the men I dated were genuine catastrophes! Didn't stay long with any of them, though.... I have strong survival instincts from my childhood.
I see those survival skills in you... and so many women from our generation. Chronic anxiety and hyper-vigilance were the key drivers of my 20s and 30s, but often they only engendered more stress for our family later... The whole experience makes me want to step back and survey how to make haven(s) for women (my fam included) to NOT have to keep cycling through that experience...
I'm going to split the difference between regret and self-acceptance with awe.
Wow, look how that decision impacted the next 50 years!
Would 61 yo me tell 16 yo me to not try and tackle the biggest kid on the opposing team when he weighed 220 pounds and was coming full speed at 160 pound flat-footed me. Sixteen yo me would have never listened and how was I to know it would shear off every facet in my lower spine (something we didn't discover until I was 50) and lead to a massive number of spinal problems when the whole thing collapsed.
And, who knew that rushing to make beignet biscuits would result in a massive column of flame and a few third degree burns?
But now, I'm older and wiser and have some great stories and hopefully a bit more perspective and I clearly survived hanging out with younger me.
No regrets. Not everything was a disaster (or a success) and who knows, someday I might actually publish a book or get a posthumous Nobel prize.
The first thing that comes to mind is that I once bought a house that I loved but couldn’t stand living in after two months. It was an expensive mistake both financially and emotionally.
My first house was the biggest, most windy money pit... I nearly drove myself mad.
Dating the psychiatrist --not mine, of course. Read about it in this catastrophe chapter where I bombed and nearly worse: https://marytabor.substack.com/p/cinderella-chapter-17 and it gets even worse after that! Read the following chapter too. Try not to be horrified. Blame me!
I cannot WAIT to read!!! xoxo
Can't wait to see your reaction, Alisa. Call me a fool at any time.💕
is that buckingham browne and nichols?%$!?...would have been a long commute from bennington if we are talking about where shirley jackson lived in vt. 🤣
I-93 south from Manchester, N.H. (talk about "catastrophe 😉)
joe needs to voluntarily withdraw but as a man i know how hard that is
😵💫
YES that's the school... we would have stayed in Cambridge for that. And we once lived in Shirley Jackson's old house... so know all about VT catastrophes :) I feel like we need to collectively choreograph the most dignified exit... one worthy of William Powell or Cary Grant.
or hmmm Sydney Carleton? its a farrr farrr better thing....
EEk. So many, that it's hurting my brain trying to conjure them from the far, dark recesses of my brain. But, I do want to talk about last night! EGADS!!!!! What the actual fuck are you guys going to do down there? I started watching and then had to turn it off and only check in every now and again to see the 'live updates' in writing at the NYT. Even that was painful as I was patiently praying for a miracle. I've been ferociously reading the various opinion pieces of long time democrats and supporters of Biden's saying he must resign for the sake of the country yada yada. Do you think he will? I'm so worried about the upcoming catastrophe that is your next President. That's about the only one I can think of this morning! (Plus, it's way better than thinking of the ones I created.)😜
Yes, we have a saying in our family... No agonizing... Only organizing. It feels like someone needs to 'Cary Grant' an exit that lets him maintain the dignity of his elder statesmanship and saunter offstage while someone akin to Gretchen Whitmer (who can rally the Michigan and factory votes) makes a solid, sane, and relevant entry... all while being backed by the legacy cabinet that Biden has built. To give Biden an emeritus role that leverages all the political and international capital he has accumulated over the years would also seem a more valuable move in saving the democracy right now.
Regrets don’t serve me. If I went there in my mind I’d be an anxious mess. I have to forgive myself and others and move on.
So healthy!!! Though I quite like Dan Pink's book 'The Power of Regret', which has helped me become a more discerning person?
I definitely learn from my mistakes but harping on what I could have done differently sends me down a mucky rabbit hole.
love the visual it reminds me of Rosemary's Baby and all the chanting from the upstairs coven. I'm still reeling from the debate so have no personal catastrophe thoughts except like you uprooting divorces. Oh I'd be so much richer if I had stayed either course. But would not have started my own art dealing career which was more empowering than wifedom. And if I were Biden I would fire my advisors who thought that debate was a good pre-emptive idea.
Indeed, still reeling and yes, they should be in advisor jail, but there's a way forward. There *has* to be... as we say in our family, no agonizing... only organizing :)