42 Comments
User's avatar
David Roberts's avatar

I wish them ceaseless competition to be the richest, the one with the hottest mate, the one with the most power. In that way they will never know happiness.

Expand full comment
Alisa Kennedy Jones's avatar

Fits the crime! They'll robber baron each other into oblivion.

Expand full comment
Weston Parker's avatar

These empty people were likely raised with extremely conditional love, if any all at, or they could just be narcissistic sociopaths or both. I hope, beginning now, they get daily glimpses of the yawning emptiness of their lives and that it feeds a growing sense of meaninglessness that no amount of Viagra...- or, you know, something like that. 😉

Expand full comment
Alisa Kennedy Jones's avatar

Yes, a daily glimpse into the gaping maw of the dark void seems fitting along with perhaps (?) all the worst side effects that come with Viagra... stinging eyeballs and blood clots in one's willy 😂

Expand full comment
Weston Parker's avatar

Or even blood clotted eyeballs and stinging willy. Ha!

Expand full comment
Alisa Kennedy Jones's avatar

Bahahaha!

Expand full comment
Shayne's avatar

May all the broligarchs suffer an eternity of painful rashes, head splitting migraines, and soul crushing fatigue brought about by a mid-brain infection. This infection will not lead to their deaths and will rob them of the strength needed to take their own lives. Most importantly, all of their suffering could have been predicted, protected against and perhaps treated had the holy mango not stopped publication of the CDC's Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report for the first time it its 64 year history.

https://www.forbes.com/sites/joshuacohen/2025/01/23/trump-administration-halts-public-health-agencies-activities/

Expand full comment
Alisa Kennedy Jones's avatar

Wicked and completely appropriate. (Actually very worried about all health policies.)

Expand full comment
Shayne's avatar

I'm afraid that we all should be concerned and it's getting buried in the news cycle.

This only one part of the threat to our health but the MMWR has never been politicized in the past and doing so has likely already raised questions about its credibility around the globe.

Expand full comment
Alisa Kennedy Jones's avatar

I know. This story was completely buried in the cycle: https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025/jan/22/trump-executive-orders-healthcare

And it's huge.

Expand full comment
Ororo Munroe's avatar

What the fuck are those stupid glasses he's wearing? And I like that you refer to He Who Shall Not Be Named as a "half-sentient Cheeto". BWAHA!!

Expand full comment
Alisa Kennedy Jones's avatar

Those glasses are called Orion, a pair of augmented reality (AR) glasses from Meta. Zuck has described them as "the most advanced glasses the world has ever seen... " blablablabla... And yes, I will never be able to stomach another Cheeto as long as I live. This fool has now ruined a perfectly good snack for the entire world. Best to switch to Smart Food.

Expand full comment
Ororo Munroe's avatar

Augmented reality glasses? In English, what the fuck does that mean? Can he see into other universes? LOL

Expand full comment
Alisa Kennedy Jones's avatar

Your guess is as good as mine but in English... He sees things that aren't there. Dude wants to play PokemonGo until the world burns down, lol.

Expand full comment
Ororo Munroe's avatar

"He sees things that aren't there" = crazy person. Or dementia.

Expand full comment
Tamara Foster's avatar

By the way did you read Substack CEO’s open letter praising Musk and Zuck???

Expand full comment
Alisa Kennedy Jones's avatar

Wait, what??? I didn't. I'm probably not on Notes enough... because I'm 24/7 on Empress Editions these days.

Expand full comment
Tamara Foster's avatar

I got an email of it from Substack Reads but you can find it on his Substack Chris Best (unless he’s removed it by now as the comments were not favorable)

Expand full comment
Alisa Kennedy Jones's avatar

Ah... I get behind on email. I pay the closest attention to those folks I've connected with here and The Empress.

Expand full comment
Alisa Kennedy Jones's avatar

Oh, good grief... ugh. And that's just today. Post-Nazi-salute. Post-return of the R-word slur that's happening... wow. That's pretty sucky--to praise fascists and clothe it as a fight for freedom... Freedom to be cruel???

Expand full comment
Tamara Foster's avatar

Exactly!! When will they realize that hate speech is not free speech 🤨

Expand full comment
Mishy Jacobson's avatar

Obsessed with the title. I feel like our substacks vibe

Expand full comment
Alisa Kennedy Jones's avatar

They DO! I feel like I saw your Glass Ceiling post earlier today and said out loud to no one in particular in my kitchen "YEP...We are all undifferentiated females at conception, so there we go!"

Expand full comment
Mishy Jacobson's avatar

Honored

Expand full comment
Chris Stanton's avatar

“I confess I could not stoop to watch Zuck and Bezos fellate a half-sentient Cheeto.” I’m dead 🤣

Expand full comment
Kimberly Warner's avatar

Oh that Upton quote!!! Seriously prescient.

Expand full comment
Alisa Kennedy Jones's avatar

Right? Just felt so of the moment.

Expand full comment
Good Humor by CK Steefel's avatar

Sorry hun. I don’t wish ill on anyone. Not even in a humorous way. (Except for Hamas.)

Expand full comment
Tamara Foster's avatar

The inability to pee since they have pissed all over freedom of choice :) PS I'm petty too ;)

Expand full comment
Alisa Kennedy Jones's avatar

DAMN! That is a GOOD one! 😂 The suffering... oh, dear!

Expand full comment
Tamara Foster's avatar

🤭😈just sayin…

Expand full comment
appleton king's avatar

"broligarchy"!!! you make that up? (i don't get around much anymore)

this piece resounds like a stinging sharp clap to face with un-mittened glove on sub-zero street corner these fucks keep reprising the days of President Mckinley and they may very well stir up the ghosts of Haymarket and Emma Goldman and Samuel Gompers in ways they very much may regret heh

Expand full comment
Alisa Kennedy Jones's avatar

Alas, I did not coin "broligarchy"... That came from someone far more clever at The Guardian, I believe? But oh, you are SO spot-on to bring up McKinley and the ghosts of Haymarket, Emma Goldman, and Samuel Gompers--completely relevant to these times. And you're reminding me why we all need to read more by Doris Kearns Goodwin--the world-renowned Presidential historian--because if anyone can give us more perspective and hope during these grim times--it's Doris.

Expand full comment
appleton king's avatar

ditto Howard Zinn 😉

Expand full comment
Kim Druker Stockwell's avatar

I love wandering down your path, Alisa. The fun you have with words! And I agree whole heartedly.

Expand full comment
Peter Maguire's avatar

David Roberts (below) wins the prize. They are already living their misery each and every day. The photo of the Zuck hungrily starring at Lauren Sanchez's giant tits at the inauguration said it all. From my novel Point Douche: "The Tech Mongols simmered with resentment. Life for them was also an exercise in revenge and schadenfreude because they had never tasted glory and never would. Despite their vast fortunes and trappings of power, until recently, they had been life’s non-impact players. They never got to score the winning touchdown, fuck the cheerleader, save a life in the sea, or kill a man on a battlefield. No amount of MMA training with UFC champions, yoga retreats with Ashtanga gurus, or Ayahuasca trips with Peruvian shamans could ever change that fact."

Expand full comment
Alisa Kennedy Jones's avatar

Hahaha... "Point Douche" wins the prize for greatest novel title! And Zuck drooling over Sanchez's voluminous boobies at the inauguration was SO Fellini-esque, straight out of Amarcord. He might as well have been Titta with the buxom tobacconist. 😂 Yes, simmering in a rank stew of their own egoic envy is probably torture enough for these non-impact chuckleheads.

Expand full comment
Peter Maguire's avatar

It is only a matter of time before the Zuck gets a divorce and a similarly enhanced model. It would take Voltaire to do justice to the self inflicted wounds he will soon suffer. The fro and gold chains are just the tip of a very large iceberg. If you are patient enough to sit by the river long enough, the bodies always float by.

Expand full comment
Sue Ferrera's avatar

I support you for a reason, and you never let me down. I love the way your brain works, and the humor that accompanies your thoughts.

Expand full comment
Alisa Kennedy Jones's avatar

Oh, Sue! It's late here, but that is the nicest thing anyone has said to me in ages. Thank you. :) Your brain is chocked full of awesome too! 💗

Expand full comment
Lori Christian's avatar

I’m sharing Newsbytes from Substack to FB before I delete it. Trying to spread the word to get real news here and not propaganda.

Expand full comment