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Chris Stanton's avatar

"The only drawback to using it more often is that I can’t spell it without accidentally invoking a demon." I'd like to take that line out to dinner and congratulate it for being so incredible.

Re: the most slappable face, that's really hard. I agree that J.D. Vivian Vance is an excellent choice. And though I don't take pleasure in saying this about a woman, Karoline Leavitt is my pick. Someone needs to knock the truth into her or the lies out of her, I don't care which, but that smugly face of hers is ripe for the slapping.

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Alisa Kennedy Jones's avatar

Hahahahaha... This whole exchange is so great! Demon spelling def. merits dinner. And Karoline has some serious Regina from MEAN GIRLS ENERGY going on! I bet she's a total DOM at home. That girl slaps back, which is probably why all the oh-so-punchable bro bags worship her!

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Chris Stanton's avatar

She DEFINITELY slaps back. And most of the time, I bet she slaps first!

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Amanda Jaffe's avatar

I know March Madness is more than half over, but this whole thing just screams Slap Bracket....

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Alisa Kennedy Jones's avatar

This reply got lost in my emails for 2 days, but I remember reading it going, "Gghhaaaagh!!! So much goodness in this exchange! This is the magic of Substack! ✨ 😂

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Chris Stanton's avatar

OMG, that’s genius

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Amanda Jaffe's avatar

JD Vivian Vance! 😂

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Hilary Hattenbach's avatar

🤣Thanks for making me guffaw today. I needed it. Pete Hegseth gets my face-slap vote although Karoline Leavitt (if only she would LEAVE) is a close second. I too don’t condone violence (especially against women), but I’d like to slap some sense into her.

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Alisa Kennedy Jones's avatar

Oh, I'm so glad to make you laugh. :) None of us ever condones anything harsh - it's more about the absurdity of the specificity of language and their blatant idiocy. But oy, Karoline is a little bit of a neo-Nazi robot in the making, no? I still stop myself every time I look at her and think, hold on--she's only 27? What does life have in store for her??? We probably don't have to do anything. The universe is mostly swift and just, the Cheeto notwithstanding. :)

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Story Carrier's avatar

Yes, Pete has a "slappable face," a little bit like a Ken-doll face that was left near Mom's iron while it was on high heat. Or, like the wicked witch in the Wizard of Oz (the original) who melted when she was waterboarded.

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Alisa Kennedy Jones's avatar

If ONLY he could be felled by water or Mom's iron! We'll have to settle for Keri's imaginary hair. Sigh. 😂

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Sue Ferrera's avatar

Great post and comments!!!

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Alisa Kennedy Jones's avatar

Thanks, Sue. Your encouragement means the world, and yes... I just love all the exchanges from folks - only on Substack! :)

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Sue Ferrera's avatar

I agree, it's wonderful to be here.

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Mark Kureishy's avatar

I’d laugh, and I did, but then you’re observation about The Diplomat being a much more realistic, and infinitely preferable, depiction of real politicians than the Ringling, Barnum and Bailey clown troupe currently honking their horns and throwing buckets of paper confetti over the rest of us, just depressed me again. Talk about giving with one hand and taking away with the other…ha-ha!

And who prefers hair slicked back a la Benito to Kerri’s simply can’t be arsed ‘cos I’ve much more important stuff to do? Why, the brain dead and the stiff armed saluters, of course!

Very glad to have stumbled into your stuff (not a euphemism, Alisa!) today!

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Amanda Jaffe's avatar

Backpfeifengesicht is pretty $^&%# awesome, but "sex hair?" Yes! I swear every sentence of this was funnier than the one before it. So good!

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Alisa Kennedy Jones's avatar

Ah, thanks, Amanda. That means everything. And I'm pretty sure we could make a decent drinking game out of listing every possible permutation of Pete Hamburglar-Heg-whatever. 😂

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Veronika Bond's avatar

Backpfeifengesicht! 😅 such a great word!!

How did English manage all these years (centuries) without this priceless German vocable?

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Alisa Kennedy Jones's avatar

Right??? 😅 Languages are so wonderful.

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Alicia Dara's avatar

Hubz and I are deep into Season 2 of The Dip, and lordy that SEX HAIR is everything! I love this show so much, it's intelligent, bitingly funny, and suspenseful in ways that my nervous system can handle. I also don't condone violence, but the DISTINCT SLAPABILITY of this entire administration is hard to deny, but like, I don't know who should get it first? Maybe just form a line and let Kerri slap until her hair needs a sex break?

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Alisa Kennedy Jones's avatar

Indeed, David Gyasi from The Dip is HOT, and he has ZERO HAIR. And, as I always say, these posts are JOKES; no one ever condones violence, but I love languages, and the fact that there's a word in German for such an ephemeral 'slappable' quality is hilarious. Your idea for a Keri slap line for the cabinet is a riot. Knowing these flaccid little pervs, they'd get off on it.

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Alicia Dara's avatar

BUT ALSO: we all deserve a sex break from time to time. Except them.

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Tamara Foster's avatar

Hilariously accurate comme d’habitude 🌸

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Alisa Kennedy Jones's avatar

Thank you for your encouragement, Tamara--it means everything! ❤️

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Tamara Foster's avatar

You are welcome Alisa 🌸

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David Roberts's avatar

Great word to know!

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Alisa Kennedy Jones's avatar

You know, even though I joke here... I love languages, especially when a word is so wildly specific. They say the Khosian languages of the Kalahari Desert are among the most exacting on the planet, and yet, we classify this region as the developing world. All the while, their linguistic perceptions and taxonomy are incredibly nuanced. They must have multiple types of slaps for Pete Hedgerow. 😂

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Good Humor by CK Steefel's avatar

I miss Keri's curls. She wore them well in Felicity. But then Hollywood said, Go the Kidman route. Keratin that frizz.

Well, that's what I did. But Keri did have the best curls.

Honestly, I thought it was mean when people made fun of Biden's dementia and I'm not a fan of slapping anyone. Sorry love. Not gonna play this time.

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appleton king's avatar

who knew " the Diplomat" would be so helpful and prescient in this nogoodverybadbullshit moment...im no authority on hair but just her bare legs sprawled on a bed reading says something about erotic chemistry not requiring modeling clay or silicone injections...also i get a kick out of how German language refers to vagina as "mutter-mund" ie "mother-mouth"

tho it would be a lame curse 😉

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Weston Parker's avatar

What a laugh and a half! Clown fuckery and shit hattery everywhere and here we are, stuck in the middle of these two.

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Apr 2
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Alisa Kennedy Jones's avatar

It's true. You wouldn't think such a seemingly humorless nation would possess such a fantastic word, but the Germans, it turns out, are huge fans of paperwork, forms, and documenting things, and so I can just SEE some mid-level Teutonic bureaucrat in a cube somewhere filling out a form describing Pete Hogwart's as being completely "Backpfeifengesicht". Lol... Ticks the box every time! 😂

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